Deidara's Sick Day
by Ankoku21
Summary: Deidara's sick and feels awful, the only person he really wants right now is Sasori. SasoDei.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did, a lot of things would have gone differently and the Akatsuki would still be alive. Anyway, Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

'Senpai, senpai, senpai!' Tobi bounced excitedly up and down in front of the less than amused blonde.

'What?' Deidara groaned, wishing the annoying little fly would buzz off and leave him alone.

'I fought a bunch of Iwagakure ninja today, do you think the Leader will let me join now?'

'I doubt it,' Deidara replied, curtly. 'There aren't any openings, all the rings are taken. You'll have to wait for someone to die, hmn.'

'Aww! No fair! Everyone here's super strong, they're not gonna die for ages! What'll I do?' Tobi wailed.

Deidara was starting to get a headache, something that always ended up happening when Tobi started to annoy him. He scowled and closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to make Tobi into a piece of his "artwork".

'And Zetsu-san's said-'

'Tobi!' Deidara snapped, massaging his temples in a vain attempt to rid himself of the dull aching pain in his head. 'I am going to give you to the count of three to shut up and go away before I blow you up, hmn!'

'Woah! Senpai, I was just-'

'One,' Deidara said, warningly.

'Hang on, I didn't-'

'Two,' Deidara continued, loudly. 'Don't make me get to three.'

The masked man finally took the hint and dashed away, hiding behind Kisame for protection in case the angry blonde decided to carry out his threat anyway. Deidara sighed and opened his eyes, sometimes he really wished that Zetsu would eat Tobi instead of seemingly encouraging his childish behaviour.

'You're in a bad mood today, Deidara,' Hidan smirked, 'had a row with Sasori again?'

'Shut up,' Deidara muttered, wearily.

He _had_ argued with the irritating puppet-master he loved so much, but that wasn't the cause of his irritation; he was tired and his head hurt and he didn't need Tobi or Hidan or anyone else bothering him.

'Did I touch a nerve?' Hidan asked, his smirk widening as he tested how far he could push the Iwagakure ninja before he snapped at him like he'd done to Tobi. 'Kakuzu, I think Deidara-chan's upset.'

'I'm going to bed,' Deidara muttered, standing up and heading for the door.

Hidan, beleiving himself to be the reason for Deidara's sudden departure, snickered as the younger Akatsuki left the room and shut the door rather loudly behind himself.

The blonde bomber made his way to the room he and his partner shared, took off his Akatsuki robes, and climbed into bed. Sasori was going on some kind of recon mission tomorrow and Pein had decided that only Sasori needed to go, which meant that Deidara could sleep in and get rid of this tiredness without having to worry about incurring the wrath of his leader.

Deidara groaned and rolled over onto his side, he was finding it impossible to fall asleep despite how tired he felt. At some point, he heard Sasori come in and get into his own bed. Sasori, despite being a puppet, still needed to sleep in order to replenish his chakra, and the irritating thing was that he always managed to get to sleep quickly, no matter what was going on. Deidara felt like punching the red haired puppet maker for being so utterly infuriating, even when he was asleep.

All through the night, Deidara tossed and turned, restlessly; even when he had managed to slip into some form of sleep, it didn't last long before he was wide awake again, feeling even worse. His head still hurt and now the pain seemed to have spread to his arms and legs while his throat felt dry and sore. He groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, burrying his face in his pillow and hoping that when he woke up he would feel better.

When morning arrived, Deidara certainly did _not_ feel better, his throat was now so painful that it hurt just to swallow and his muscles were aching as if he'd just blown himself up.

'Sasori?' he groaned, hoarsely.

The older Akatsuki was nowhere to be seen. Deidara, with a great effort, pushed himself up to look at the alarm clock. It was ten o'clock in the morning, which meant that Sasori was porbably long gone on his mission. Deidara sighed and flopped back down onto his bed, still feeling exhausted. He should probably get up and have some breakfast but he didn't feel hungry at all. In fact, the very thought of food made him feel sick.

_Great, just my luck_, he thought, wearily, _I'm sick._

Feeling increasingly cold, Deidara pulled his blanket up to his chin and snuggled down into the warm bed, finally feeling like he might be able to get some decent sleep.

'My, my, my, Deidara, you don't look well at all.'

Deidara opened his eyes irritably as he was dragged back to reality. He's barely been asleep for five minutes and already he was forced to wake up. There was Zetsu, smiling in a deepy irksome way.

'Go away, hmn,' Deidara croaked, rolling over so that his back was to the strange plant-man.

He felt a hand against his forehead and immediately batted it away with his own.

'I thought I told you to go away, hmn!' he snapped, or at least tried to, it came out in the same weak croak as before.

'You're very hot, Deidara,' Zetsu said, now sounding more serious.

'Tell me something I don't know, hmn,' Deidara replied, coughing.

Zetsu brow furrowed and he put a hand to his mouth, podering the situation. It wasn't like the young blonde to get sick, especially not so suddenly, he was worried that it might be something serious and life-threatening.

'Deidara, how many fingers am I holding up?' he asked, holding up a hand.

'Three, now get lost before I blow you up, hmn,' Deidara grunted.

'Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight,' Zetsu said, slightly offended.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. If I did, a lot of things would have gone differently and the Akatsuki would still be alive. Anyway, Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

Deidara groaned weakly, his throat hurt, his head hurt, his body hurt; his arms were aching, he felt much too hot, and to cap it all, he was surrounded by idiots who were intent on driving him completely insane with their moronic antics. Tobi, having somehow sensed, as he always did, when Deidara _least_ wanted him around, had come skipping into his room without knocking and proceeded to irriate his senpai by fussing over the obviously ill Iwagakure ninja.

Zetsu, meanwhile, was arguing with himself about how best to deal with Deidara despite the blonde's constant threats that Tobi and the plant-man would be blown up with his C4 bombs if they didn't leave his room within the next thirty seconds.

'Go awaaaaaay!' Deidara moaned, burrying his head under his pillow.

'I know what to do!' Tobi said happily, apparently not hearing Deidara, 'I'll look after senpai all day. I'll bring him drinks and take his temperature and get him medicine and-'

Deidara pulled his head out from under the pillow, snatched his clay pouch from beside the bed, and, coughing dryly, gabbed a handful of the detonating substance.

'I'm serious,' Deidara croaked, the mouth on his left hand chewing up the clay. 'Get out of my room, right now, or I'll blow you both to Hell, hmn!'

'Uwaah! Zetsu-san, Deidara-senpai's scary!' Tobi wailed, running out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him.

'Same goes for you, Zetsu,' Deidara warned, beginning to mould his clay into a spider.

'Well, it seems being ill doesn't improve your temper at all, Deidara,' Zetsu sighed.

'Just leave him,' Black Zetsu muttered, darkly. 'If he doesn't want any help, don't bother giving him any.'

'Exactly, now go,' Deidara said, holding up the spider threateningly.

'Alright, alright, I'm going.'

As Zetsu followed Tobi, Deidara sank back onto his pillow, coughing and wishing that he hadn't strained his throat so much. He wished that Sasori was here to keep him company, by now their argument of yesterday would have been forgotten and Sasori would probably be much better at dealing with the sickly Deidara than the two annoying idiots who had only managed to make him feel even worse.

After about five minutes of staring up at the ceiling, Deidara was finding it impossible to relax and fall asleep despite his fatigue, thanks to Tobi and Zetsu. He was just thinking up many different ways to bomb the living daylights out of them when someone knocked on his door and a voice called out, 'Deidara, can I come in?'

Recognizing the voice as Kisame's, Deidara grunted affirmatively in reply. The door opened and the Kirigakure shinobi entered the room, quickly surveying the sick ninja before sitting down opposite him on Sasori's bed.

'So, Tobi tells me you're dying,' he said, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. 'He's always overreacting.'

Deidara nodded, silently, not wanting to hurt his throat any more than it already was.

'You hungry?' Kisame asked.

The younger ninja shook his head. Kisame, seeng that he wasn't going to be able to get much conversation out of Deidara, sighed and cast about for some other yes or no question.

'You hot?'

Deidara nodded again, though this was an understatement, he felt like he was getting warmer and warmer by the second, almost like his body was on fire. His head was pounding horribly as if fifty taiko drummers were holding a concert inside it. Suddenly, Deidara sat bolt upright, his hand over his mouth. Kisame, momentarily stunned, was even more shocked when the blonde scrambled out of bed and ran out of his room. A few moments later, the shark-man heard the sound of someone vomiting into the nearest toilet.

Kisame hurridly followed Deidara and found him crouched over the toilet, emptying the little content he had in his stomach. The older Akatsuki member knelt down next to the vomiting bomber and gently pulled his long hair back, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

After a while, Deidara had obviously thrown up everything he could. Sweating and panting for breath, he leaned against Kisame and stood up, shakily, looking paler than ever.

'Are you alright?' Kisame asked, standing up.

'I think that's the last of it, hmn,' Deidara muttered, wiping his mouth. 'God, I feel awful.'

'Come on, let's get you back to bed.'

Deidara meekly allowed the shark-man to lead him back to his room where he greatfully collapsed onto the bed, wishing that the earth would open up and swallow him, he felt absolutely horrid.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

He was hot and drenched in sweat, vaguely aware of hushed voices nearby but unable make out anything they were saying. It didn't matter, he didn't want to hear them, he just wanted to sleep. He rolled over onto his side and huddled up into a ball as he suddenly started to feel like he was inside a block of ice. He felt another blanket being put on top of him and pulled it up to his chin, desperate for some warmth.

_'He's got a really high fever.'_

_'Has anyone actually taken his temperature yet?'_

_Go away, I'm trying to sleep,_ Deidara thought, as the voices floated into his mind. He was starting to feel hot again, like someone had lit a fire in his stomach and the heat was spreading to ever part of his body. He groaned weakly as he uncurled himself, already starting to sweat again.

He suddenly felt a cold hand on his forehead and let out a sigh of relief.

_'He really _is_ hot.'_

Hang on, he recognised that voice. His eyes flickered open slowly as he turned his head to look at the speaker.

'Danna?' he asked, softly.

There was the puppet-master -outside of his stupid Hiruko for a change- crouched down next to the bed, something vaguely resembling concern in his eyes.

'I'm here,' he said, retracting his hand.

Deidara made a weak noise of protest as the cold hand left his forehead, he had been enjoying the cooling touch. Sasori rolled his eyes and put his hand back on the younger's forehead. Deidara smiled and closed his eyes for a moment.

'How are you feeling, Deidara?' Sasori asked.

'Awful,' Deidara replied, opening his eyes. 'One minute I'm hot, the next I'm cold. And my throat hurts, hmn.'

Sasori nodded, from the looks of it he had already been informed of Deidara's symtoms. Looking past the puppet-maker for the first time, Deidara saw Zetsu and Kisame were stood behind him, watching silently.

'It sounds to me like you've got the flu,' Sasori said, calmly.

'Is that it?' Deidara croaked. 'I feel like I'm dying and you're telling me it's just the flu, hmn?'

Sasori raised an eyebrow at the sculptor, looking rather unamused.

'The flu can be serious, Deidara,' he said, sternly. 'Don't underestimate it. It's much worse than a common cold and could lead to pneumonia if you're not careful.'

Deidara groaned, he really wasn't in the mood for a lecture. The puppeteer seemed to realise that his partner was weak and really wasn't up to being informed about the severity of the flu. He sighed and said nothing more, instead he started to gently stroke Deidara's forehead which the blonde seemed to enjoy. Deidara closed his eyes and was soon fast asleep again.

'He'll be fine in a few days,' Sasori said, quietly so as not to wake the clay loving bomber. 'As long as he gets plenty of rest and lots to drink.'

Sasori continued to run his hand over Deidara's forehead. Now that he was back, he was going to take care of his partner until he was back to full strength again.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

'Come on, sit up,' Sasori said, helping Deidara into an upright position. 'Lift your arm.'

Deidara obediently did as he was told, raising his arm up into the air and holding it there while Sasori placed an axillary thermometer under his armpit.

'Okay, you can put it down again.'

Once again, Deidara did as instructed.

'Now keep it tight against your body.'

While they waited for the thermometer to beep, Sasori set about making their bedroom into a sick room since he doubted that Pein would want anyone else in the Akatsuki to catch Deidara's flu. He had already supplied the room with plently of bottled water, tissues, and an easily located rubbish bin. He had also hung a sign on the door that read "Quarantine. Keep out. This also applies to you, Tobi."

Deidara watched as Sasori opened the window to allow some fresh air into the room. Words couldn't express how grateful he was to the Sunagakure ninja for everything he was doing to try and make things just a little easier for the sick sculptor.

'Danna...'

'Hm?' Sasori looked over at the younger ninja.

Just then the thermometer beeped. Sasori came back over to the bed and removed it. He looked at the reading and smiled, lsatisfied.

'Looks like you're fever's starting to go down,' he said. 'Now, what was it you were saying?'

Deidara blushed a little and lowered his eyes so that they had no chance of meeting the puppet-master's.

'... Thank you...'

Sasori was momentarily taken aback, it was quite rare for Deidara to thank anyone, let alone him. The Sunagakure ninja let a small smile flicker across his face before putting a hand on Deidara's forehead.

'Wow, you must be really sick,' he teased, 'you don't even know what you're saying.'

'Shut up, hmn,' Deidara muttered, sulkily.

'That's more like it,' Sasori chuckled.

Deidara hastily covered his mouth as he began to cough violently for what felt like the hundredth time. His cough was dry and hacking and did absolutely nothing but make his throat hurt even more.

'Here, have a throat lozenge,' Sasori said, offering a packet of reddish coloured sweets.

Deidara took one and placed it in hiw mouth, letting it start to dissolve on his tongue. Sasori seemed to have thought of everything. The young ninja wondered what he would have done without Sasori. _Probably go insane, _he thought.

'Right, you can take as many of these lozenges as you want, you can take two of these painkillers every five hours, and one of _these _painkillers every hour,' Sasori informed his sickly partner. 'You've got bottled water here, tissues here, and there's some more blankets by the side of the bed if you want them. Do you need anything else?'

At that moment, Deidara's stomach began to growl. He realised that he hadn't eaten anything all day.

Sasori had obviously heard because he raised an amused eyebrow and asked, 'Are you hungry, by any chance?'

'A bit,' Deidara said, smiling.

'Alright, I'll get you some toast.'

As the pupeteer left, Deidara couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he sucked on the lozenge; he and Sasori may argue a lot, but Sasori was always thee for him when he really needed it. He really didn't know what he'd do if Sasori wasn't around. He was already feeling much better after only about two hours of Sasori's care. The red haired ninja had insisted that everyone else was to come no nearer that six feet to Deidara's room lest they run the risk of catching his illness. Since the puppeteer was unable to catch the flu himself, he had no problems taking care of Deidara while he was in quarantine and since nobody else was allowed to enter the room, Deidara had finally been able to relax.

Sasori returned with a plate of dry toast which, he assured Deidara, would not upset the younger ninja's stomach. Deidara smiled and swallowed his lozenge before making a start on the toast, starting to wish that he always had Sasori waiting on him hand and foot .


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

It was dark outside and Deidara could see the large silvery moon out of his window. Despite the rough start to the day, ever since Sasori had returned, it had been a rather good day for the sculptor. Thanks to the throat lozenges and the continuous supply of water, his throat didn't feel nearly as bad as it had done earlier. Also, his temperature had finally come down and he'd stopped having cold chills. All in all, he felt like he would soon be back to his usual self, which he actually thought was a pity because this had been one of the most relaxing days of his life.

Sasori, who had been emptying Deidara's bin, returned with the empty bin in one hand and a fresh box of tissues in the other; Deidara's fever may have gone down but his nose had got more and more blocked as the day went on.

'Here, these should last you until tomorrow,' Sasori said, putting the tissues on Deidara's bedside table. 'I must say, you're looking a lot better. You're cough's lightened up, as well.'

'It's thanks to you, Sasori no Danna, hmn,' Deidara replied, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

'Anything else you need?' Sasori asked, an even smaller smile flickering across his face.

The sculptor shook his head. Sasori sat down at the foot of Deidara's bed, watching the blonde as he picked up one a half empty water bottle and proceeded to drain the contents. He was glad to see that the bomber had greatly improved since earlier; he didn't want to admit it but he had been very worried about Deidara when he had returned from his mission to find the blonde ninja in such a state.

'Hm? What's from?' Deidara asked, noticing Sasori's lingering gaze.

'Nothing,' Sasori said, quietly. 'I'm just glad you're feeling better.'

'You're going soft, Danna, hmn,' Deidara teased, grinning at the older artist.

'I hardly think _you're_ in a position to say that, Deidara,' Sasori replied, cooly, 'you've done nothing but thank me all day.'

'And _you've_ done nothing but be kind, pleasant, and wait on me all day, hmn,' Deidara countered.

'Don't push your luck, I might not be so nice tomorrow,' Sasori threatened, jokingly.

Deidara's chuckle soon turned into a wide yawn. Sasori stood up and made his way to the window, shutting it and drawing the curtains.

'It's getting late and you need your rest,' Sasori said. 'What do you say we call it a night?'

Deidara nodded and laid down, turning onto his side to face Sasori as the older ninja turned off the light, pulled off his Akatsuki robe, hung it up, and got into his own bed.

'If you need anything in the night, just wake me up,' the puppeteer said.

Deidara nodded and shut his eyes, quickly falling into a peaceful sleep.

...

The next day, Deidara was practically back to his old self; his throat no longer hurt, his body had stopped aching, and his cough was almost non-existant. To be on the safe side, however, he remained in quarantine and Sasori continued to do his bidding, though grantedly not as much as before. Deidara had definately got his appetite back and didn't have any problem keeping his food down, which was a great relief to everybody. However, the Iwagakure ninja was now finding it quite boring being cooped up in his room all day, and he was feeling quite grungy from laying in bed all the day before, particularly since he had been sweating from his fever for most of the day.

To relieve Deidara of his boredome, Sasori allowed him to create very small clay bombs and detonate them, on the condition that Deidara had to promise not to damage anything and not to make anything bigger than a bee. Deidara agreed to these demands and had a rather fun time creating his artwork in miniature form before watching it's tiny explosion in midair.

Dealing with Deidara's general feeling of grubbiness was also an easy task, they just had to wait for everyone else to have their daily baths so that Sasori could then clean the bathroom after Deidara was done to prevent contaminating the bathroom. Deidara was, once again, very grateful for the amount of work that Sasori was doing on his behalf.

The next day, everyone was satisfied that Deidara was no longer contagious and the bomber was allowed out of his room again. However, once he was out he rather wished that he was back in again, thanks to Tobi's idiotic behaviour.

'Senpai, I was thinking that I could go to Orochimaru's place and steal his ring, that way I could be a proper member of the Akatsuki,' the annoying masked ninja clamoured. 'What do you think? What do you think?'

'I think that if you try that, Orochimaru will probably kill you, hmn,' Deidara replied, before a thought struck him. 'I think yo should do it, Tobi.'

'Now, now, Deidara,' Zetsu scolded, playfully. 'Don't say mean things like that, Tobi is a good boy.'

'Tobi's a _stupid_ kid,' Deidara corrected.

'Looks like everything's back to normal, then,' Sasori murmured.

* * *

And, with this, the story ends. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and favourited. I hope you enjoyed this last chapter.


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